Welcome to MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER, a blog series that explores the strategies of human interactions, focusing on themes like communication, conflict resolution, and negotiation. It aims to unveil the nuances of successful interactions, discussing leadership, personal branding, and online reputation management while offering practical strategies for enhancing influence and building authentic relationships. Through analysis and real-world examples, the series empowers readers to navigate interpersonal relationships confidently, fostering a deeper understanding of the power dynamics in daily encounters. Join us as we examine the art of interaction and its impact on our lives.
Today, we will delve into Law 12 from Robert Greene’s influential work, “The Laws of Human Nature.” This law explores the concept of gender rigidity and how our internal masculine and feminine energies influence our behavior and perceptions. You can purchase a copy of the book from AMAZON.COM by clicking HERE.
THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE BY ROBERT GREENE – Law #12 – The Law of Gender Rigidity
In Law #12, Greene posits that we all possess both masculine and feminine traits, regardless of our biological sex. Gender rigidity occurs when we over-identify with one side and repress the other, often due to societal pressures or upbringing, which have historically dictated strict norms about behavior and roles. This repression can lead to a lack of empathy, distorted relationships, and a narrowed perspective on the world, creating barriers to effective communication and understanding among individuals.
By recognizing and integrating these suppressed qualities, we can become more creative, adaptable, and socially intelligent individuals. Embracing both sides of our identity allows us to foster deeper connections with others, enhancing our emotional resilience. Moreover, this holistic approach to our personality not only enriches our personal lives but also empowers us to navigate complex social dynamics with greater ease and confidence, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling existence both personally and professionally. It encourages us to break free from societal constraints and engage authentically with the world around us. When we embrace the full spectrum of our identities, we not only learn to value our own experiences and emotions, but we also develop a greater empathy towards the experiences of others.
This mutual understanding establishes a foundation of trust and open communication, which can significantly improve our relationships in both personal and professional contexts. Furthermore, as we cultivate this depth of character, we become more adept at embracing change and uncertainty, which are inevitable in life’s journey. Thus, integrating these multifaceted aspects of ourselves equips us with the tools necessary to thrive in diverse environments, enriching our interactions and promoting overall well-being.
Law #12 – The Law of Gender Rigidity, an Angoleiro’s Perspective
From the perspective of an Angoleiro—a practitioner of Capoeira Angola—this law resonates deeply with the philosophy of the game. Capoeira Angola is a ritualized combat that demands a balance between strength and fluidity, aggression and trickery (malícia). An Angoleiro must navigate the roda (the circle) by being both firm and yielding, analytical and intuitive. To be rigid in one’s gender expression or tactical approach is to be predictable and vulnerable, exposing one to the whims of opponents who can anticipate moves. The beauty of Capoeira lies not only in its physicality but also in its profound strategic layers and the use of creativity to outmaneuver others. Expanding this law through the lens of malícia allows us to see how embracing our full spectrum of traits enhances our ability to play the game of power in daily life.
By integrating diverse aspects of ourselves—whether they mirror strength or subtlety—we become multifaceted players, capable of navigating the complexities of life with agility and grace. This fluidity empowers us to adapt to various circumstances, embracing the unpredictability that comes our way. As we cultivate our unique strengths and acknowledge our vulnerabilities, we foster deeper connections with others, creating an environment where negotiation and collaboration can not only exist but thrive. In essence, the practice of Capoeira Angola serves as a powerful metaphor for life itself, teaching the importance of being versatile and embracing change as we navigate our own challenges and relationships. It encourages us to find harmony between our contrasting qualities, inspiring a more profound understanding of ourselves and those around us, ultimately leading to a richer, more fulfilling experience.
Bullying often leaves a “nugget of crap”—deeply wired fear and toxic self-loathing—anchored in the heart, which physical strength alone cannot drain. Capoeira Angola offers a “comprehensive internal scaffolding” to reclaim self-worth and build authentic confidence by addressing these psychological wounds through ritualized movement and social interaction.
The Power of Esquiva (Evasion): Confidence begins with the strategic dodge. In the real world, a verbal esquiva—a calm, non-defensive response—denies a bully the emotional escalation they seek, effectively neutralizing their power and allowing the practitioner to remain centered.
Cultivating Malícia (Cunning): True resilience is found in the intelligence to foresee attacks and redirect negative energy. By using wit, irony, or unexpected silence, a practitioner maintains their dignity without descending to the bully’s level, transforming a potential confrontation into a demonstration of psychological superiority.
Integrating the Shadow: Healing requires confronting hidden dimensions of the self, such as repressed fear or anger. This integration builds extraordinary resilience, allowing one to move beyond merely reacting to external adversity and instead acting from a place of self-awareness and internal harmony.
The Strength of the Roda: Bullies thrive on isolation; the Capoeira community (roda) counters this by providing immediate support, validation, and a shared energy (axé) that acts as a protective shield for the individual.
Active Mentorship and Community Support
Supporting a victim of bullying involves translating the principles of the roda into active mentorship and robust community protection frameworks.
Acting as a Mestre (Guardian): Trusted adults and mentors should serve as the “Mestre”—the ultimate guardian of the game who ensures mutual respect and decisively restores order when a situation becomes too aggressive or harmful.
Fostering a Resilient Environment: Community leaders can provide safe training spaces where mistakes are accepted as part of the learning process and growth is encouraged. This “collective effort” (mutirão) emphasizes that healing is not an isolated endeavor but a communal one.
Validating Self-Worth: Helpers can assist victims in reclaiming their narrative and challenging negative societal labels through the discipline and mastery inherent in the art. This fosters a “cool aura” that remains unshaken by external chaos.
Encouraging Creative Acts: Since “the opposite of destruction is creation,” encouraging victims to make things (like berimbau components) exercises their competence and builds the tangible courage needed to thrive after trauma.
Capoeira Angola serves as more than just a physical discipline; it provides a comprehensive internal scaffolding for reclaiming self-worth and building authentic confidence. By integrating the tactical evasion of the esquiva, the psychological cunning of malícia, and the supportive energy of the roda, practitioners can transform the trauma of bullying into extraordinary resilience. This journey from isolation to communal belonging, supported by active mentorship and creative acts, allows individuals to move beyond reacting to adversity and instead act from a place of self-awareness and internal harmony.
Welcome to MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER, a blog series that explores the strategies of human interactions, focusing on themes like communication, conflict resolution, and negotiation. It aims to unveil the nuances of successful interactions, discussing leadership, personal branding, and online reputation management while offering practical strategies for enhancing influence and building authentic relationships. Through analysis and real-world examples, the series empowers readers to navigate interpersonal relationships confidently, fostering a deeper understanding of the power dynamics in daily encounters. Join us as we examine the art of interaction and its impact on our lives.
Today, We’re gonna explore Law 9 from the book, “The Laws of Human Nature” by Robert Greene. You can purchase a copy from AMAZON.COM by clicking HERE.
THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE BY ROBERT GREENE- Law #10 – The law of envy
The Law of Envy, as defined by Robert Greene, focuses on the dangers of the fragile ego and the human tendency to compare ourselves with others. This principle suggests that envy is a pervasive and often hidden emotion that can lead to subtle sabotage and social friction. In the context of the blog series “MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER,” understanding the dynamics of envy is essential for navigating complex interpersonal relationships and protecting one’s influence.
Key Concepts of Law 10
The Fragile Ego: Envy often stems from a sense of inadequacy or a threat to one’s self-image when faced with the superior status or achievements of others.
Mimetic Desire: Similar to the Law of Covetousness, we often desire what others have simply because they possess it, which can trigger competitive and destructive impulses.
Subtle Sabotage: Unlike direct aggression, envy often manifests as passive-aggressive behavior, backbiting, or small acts of sabotage designed to level the playing field.
Strategic Application: The Angoleiro’s Guard
From the perspective of Capoeira Angola, the Law of Envy is navigated through humility and the strategic use of malícia (cunning). In the vibrant environment of the roda, excessive grandiosity can incite envy and aggressive attacks, disrupting the harmony of practice. This highlights the need to prioritize the community spirit over individual accolades. Furthermore, the use of malícia acts as protection against envy and a means to outsmart opponents in sparring, emphasizing wit over brute force. Through this balance, practitioners navigate Capoeira’s social intricacies, fostering respect and camaraderie while honoring the traditions of this cultural art form.
An Angoleiro protects their axé (life force) by adhering to the following strategies:
Never Appear Too Perfect: Just as Law 46 of the 48 Laws of Power suggests, admitting to minor, inconsequential flaws humanizes the practitioner and deflects the resentment of others.
Reading Envy as a Tell: A master of malícia can identify the micro-expressions and shifts in posture that signal an opponent’s envy. This information is used to anticipate a reckless attack or an emotional overextension.
The Power of Disdain: When faced with envious provocation, the Angoleiro may choose to ignore it entirely. This “Strategic Disdain” preserves their energy and prevents them from becoming entangled in a destructive, low-level conflict.
By mastering the Law of Envy, individuals can better manage their own responses to the success of others while strategically mitigating the risks posed by the envy of those around them. Understanding this complex emotion allows individuals to cultivate a mindset that embraces positivity and gratitude, rather than resentment or bitterness.
This heightened awareness not only facilitates personal growth but also fosters healthier relationships in both professional and personal realms. By recognizing and addressing envy, one can transform it into a source of motivation, using the achievements of others as a catalyst for self-improvement. Furthermore, by addressing the underlying feelings of envy within their environment, individuals can create a more supportive and collaborative atmosphere, ultimately leading to mutual success and fulfillment.
Welcome to MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER, a blog series that explores the strategies of human interactions, including communication, conflict resolution, negotiation, and manipulation. It discusses leadership, personal branding, and online reputation management, providing practical strategies for influence and relationship-building. Through analysis and examples, the series aims to help readers navigate interpersonal relationships successfully.
Today, We’re gonna explore Law 3 from the book, “The Laws of Human Nature” by Robert Greene. You can purchase a copy from AMAZON.COM by clicking HERE.
See Through People’s Masks – The Law of Role Playing
We as humans are consummate actors. We play a role to flatter our peers or teachers we want to win over. Since appearances are what people judge you by, you must learn to present the best possible version of yourself.
Make no mistake, we are all playing a role. We are all such good actors that we don’t even know we’re acting. We think we are being sincere.
Recognize that everyone else is presenting a mask as well. Hiding their insecurities and emphasizing their saintly qualities, making themselves appear humble, confident, diligent.
People with consummate acting skills can better navigate our complex social environments and get ahead.
If we accept the masks that people show us at face value, we are essentially operating blindly, inviting misunderstanding and missing opportunities to truly connect. Because individuals often curate their public personas to hide insecurities or project specific virtues, relying solely on these appearances leaves us vulnerable to manipulation or misinterpretation. We need to learn to recognize people’s non-verbal cues—the micro-expressions, shifts in posture, and tone of voice—that they cannot fully control. By observing these involuntary reactions, we can see through the cracks of what they say to discover their genuine intentions and emotions.
Learning to see through people’s masks will help you understand the true motivations of those in your life, allowing you to relate with people on a deeper, more authentic level. This skill acts as a social radar, helping you know when someone is deceiving you by identifying the dissonance between their words and their body language. This analytical approach is essential for leadership and personal branding, as it allows you to manage your online reputation and interpersonal relationships with greater strategic influence.
Ultimately, mastering the Law of Role-Playing empowers you to navigate the complex social world we all live in with greater clarity, ensuring you are a participant in the social game rather than a target of it. By applying these practical strategies for influence and relationship-building, you can resolve conflicts and negotiate more effectively in any human interaction.
The 3rd Law of Human Nature, through the eyes of an Angoleiro.
From the perspective of Capoeira Angola, the concept of the “mask” is central to the art of malícia. Just as a practitioner must learn to see through people’s masks to identify genuine intentions and emotions, an Angoleiro uses the jogo (game) to observe non-verbal cues—micro-expressions, shifts in posture, and tone—that a partner cannot fully control. By recognizing the dissonance between outward appearances and involuntary body language, one gains a “social radar” essential for leadership and strategic influence. In the context of Capoeira, this skill becomes even more vital, as it not only enhances the ability to read one’s opponent during gameplay but also enriches social interactions beyond the roda.
Each encounter becomes an opportunity for learning, where the practitioner sharpens their awareness and understanding of the subtleties that communicate far more than words ever could. In the roda, as in life, individuals curate public personas to hide insecurities or project specific virtues; learning to see through these cracks allows for deeper, more authentic connections and protection against manipulation. This awareness not only enhances interpersonal interactions but also cultivates a sense of self-reflection that enriches personal growth. By recognizing the masks others wear, practitioners can respond with greater empathy and insight, creating a safe space for vulnerability. This dimension of malícia encourages practitioners to foster genuine relationships, nurturing trust and empathy in their communities, ultimately leading to a more harmonious and collaborative environment. As individuals engage more authentically, the collective understanding deepens, fostering a culture where open communication and shared experiences thrive, allowing each person to feel valued and heard.
A man sits thoughtfully on a stone bench next to a wall with a reflective message about human nature and justice.
I need you to hear this clearly and to believe it in your heart. When an adult man approaches you, showers you with attention, or tries to engage you in a relationship, I can promise you with absolute certainty that it is not because you are “mature for your age.” That phrase is a common, manipulative tactic—a lie designed to flatter you, make you drop your guard, and justify predatory behavior.
Your maturity, your intelligence, or your ability to carry on a conversation are not the reason an adult is targeting you. The reason is solely about their desire to exploit a person who they perceive as vulnerable, less powerful, and less capable of fighting back or setting firm boundaries.
Please understand this crucial context:
They are the adult. They have fully developed brains, life experience, and a clear understanding of the power dynamics at play. They know the difference between right and wrong and the significant age gap.
You are the minor. Your brain is still developing, you are still navigating complex social situations, and you are inherently in a position of lesser power and experience.
The Flattery is a Hook. Any praise they offer about your “maturity” is a calculated tool of manipulation. It’s an attempt to blur the lines of the age difference and make their inappropriate attention seem acceptable, even deserved.
Prioritizing Your Personal Safety and Comfort
Your personal safety and sense of well-being are absolutely paramount. It is not only permissible but entirely appropriate for you to experience discomfort when subjected to unwelcome or excessive attention—the kind that makes you feel uneasy, scrutinized, or harassed. This feeling of discomfort is a vital, inherent defense mechanism, and you should trust it implicitly.
Recognizing the Difference Between a Compliment and Boundary Violation
It is critical to distinguish between sincere, respectful appreciation and attention that is manipulative or predatory. Individuals who engage in inappropriate behavior often use seemingly harmless compliments or flattery as a tool to disarm you, confuse your emotional response, or minimize the seriousness of their actions.
Do not allow these verbal attempts at charm or positive reinforcement to obscure the reality of the situation. Their compliments, no matter how effusive, do not equate to approval of their underlying actions. If their actions—their persistent presence, inappropriate touching, overly intense gaze, or continuous unsolicited communication—make you feel unsafe or uneasy, those actions are inappropriate, regardless of the words they use. Your discomfort is the most reliable gauge of a boundary violation. Trust that feeling; it is your instinct protecting you.
Please stay safe. Speak up, tell a trusted adult, and know that you are strong, you are valued, and your worth has nothing to do with the inappropriate attention of an adult man. Set firm boundaries, and never feel obligated to keep a secret for an adult who is making you uncomfortable.
Is walking away actually quitting, or is the act of leaving sometimes a profound display of inner fortitude?
We often associate ‘walking away’ with defeat, a failure of endurance, or the easy path. The narrative of persistence—of staying and fighting, of never giving up—is deeply ingrained in our cultural psyche. But this perspective overlooks the critical distinction between reckless abandonment and a deliberate, self-preserving retreat. To ‘quit’ implies a giving up on something worthwhile—a goal, a relationship, a challenge—out of fear or lack of will.
However, there comes a point in certain struggles—be they professional, personal, or emotional—where the cost of staying far outweighs any potential benefit. This is the moment when leaving demands more courage, more self-awareness, and more strength than simply continuing to endure the familiar pain.
Or is there a point where leaving takes more strength than staying?
Staying can often become the default, the comfortable rut of inertia, even if that inertia is destructive. It can be easier to tolerate the known misery—the toxic environment, the stagnant relationship, the soul-crushing job—than to face the terror and uncertainty of the unknown future. Staying requires a kind of passive tolerance.
Leaving, on the other hand, is an active decision. It requires a brutal reckoning with reality, an acknowledgment that one’s own well-being is non-negotiable. It demands the strength to:
Acknowledge Failure: To accept that a given path, despite best efforts, has reached a dead end.
Embrace Uncertainty: To step into a void without a guaranteed safety net.
Overcome External Judgment: To face the inevitable questions and criticisms from those who mistake self-respect for weakness.
Break Momentum: To shatter the comfortable routine and rebuild from the ground up.
When staying means sacrificing one’s mental health, core values, or sense of self, the ‘walk away’ is not a surrender; it is a declaration of self-respect. It is not quitting the effort; it is quitting the path that demanded too high a price. In these instances, the true measure of strength is not how long one can suffer, but the clarity of mind required to choose life, peace, and a fresh start.
The True Meaning of Valentine’s Day: A Relationship Perspective
Valentine’s Day, celebrated annually on February 14th, is often superficially viewed through a commercial lens—a flurry of red hearts, chocolates, flowers, and expensive dinners. However, when examined through the deeper, more meaningful prism of human connection and relationships, its true significance emerges as a powerful opportunity for reflection, appreciation, and intentional nurturing of emotional bonds. This holiday is far more than a mandated date for grand gestures; it is an annual pause dedicated to celebrating the diverse forms of love that enrich our lives.
Beyond Romantic Love: The Spectrum of Connection
While contemporary culture heavily emphasizes romantic partnerships on this day, the true meaning of Valentine’s Day historically and fundamentally extends far beyond the confines of a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. It is an occasion to recognize and honor agape (unconditional love), philia (affectionate, friendly love), and storge (familial love), alongside eros (romantic love).
Friendships (Philia): Valentine’s Day is an ideal time to acknowledge the backbone of our social lives—our friends. These are the chosen family who provide unwavering support, shared laughter, and mutual growth. A simple, heartfelt acknowledgment can strengthen these vital bonds.
Familial Bonds (Storge): The love between parents and children, siblings, and extended relatives forms the foundation of our emotional security. Celebrating this day with family reinforces the deep, often unspoken, ties that define our sense of belonging.
Self-Love and Self-Care: Perhaps the most overlooked relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Valentine’s Day serves as a vital reminder that self-compassion and self-acceptance are prerequisites for healthy relationships with others. It’s a day to intentionally practice self-care and gratitude for one’s own journey and resilience.
The Relationship Audit: Intentional Nurturing
From a relationship perspective, Valentine’s Day functions as an annual relationship audit—a cue to pause the daily grind and assess the health and vitality of our most important connections. The true value lies not in the monetary cost of the gifts exchanged, but in the intentionality of the actions taken.
Reaffirming Commitment: For romantic partners, it is a focused day to verbally and behaviorally reaffirm the commitment made to one another. This involves expressing gratitude for the partner’s role in one’s life and acknowledging the shared history and future goals.
Quality Time and Presence: In an age of digital distraction, the most precious gift is often undivided attention. Valentine’s Day provides a framework for scheduling genuine, uninterrupted quality time. This presence fosters deeper intimacy and ensures both partners feel seen and heard.
The Language of Appreciation: The holiday reminds us to articulate our feelings, often through the lens of Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch). True celebration means expressing love in the language most meaningful to the recipient, ensuring the gesture is received as intended.
Moving Beyond Commercialism
The trap of Valentine’s Day is allowing commercial pressure to overshadow its relational core. The societal narrative often creates unrealistic expectations, leading to disappointment and stress. The healthier, truer interpretation rejects the mandate for extravagant displays and substitutes it with authenticity and meaning. A handwritten letter expressing genuine appreciation, a shared experience, or a simple act of service that addresses a partner’s ongoing need often speaks louder than the most expensive box of chocolates.
In conclusion, the true meaning of Valentine’s Day, viewed from a holistic relationship perspective, is not about the superficial exchange of commodities. It is a dedicated, annual moment to slow down, reflect on the foundational importance of love and connection in all its forms, and intentionally invest energy into nurturing the human bonds—romantic, familial, and friendly—that give life its richness and purpose. It is, fundamentally, a celebration of human interconnectedness.
O.k., listen up. Before you start taking this too seriously, let me just state for the record: this is entirely for fun. It’s Valentine’s Day, and in the spirit of this inherently corny, commercially-driven, yet ultimately heartwarming holiday, I felt compelled to write something.
What I’ve done is a short—Well not too short—write-up, attempting to view the universal experience of “love” through the very specific, occasionally rough, but undeniably passionate lens of an Angoleiro.
You know, one of us. A Capoeira Angola player.
I’ve tried to draw parallels between the slow, grounded movements, the call-and-response rhythm of the roda, the intense focus on the berimbau, and the dizzying, complex, and utterly necessary connection between two people in love.
Think of it as a love letter (Even though it’s more of a how to kind of thing), written in the language of the jogo—a playful, yet deeply respectful, exploration of connection, balance, and the moment you realize you’ve finally met your perfect parceiro (partner) for the game of life.
It’s a tongue-in-cheek attempt to blend the sweat, the music, the history, and the philosophy of the roda with the mushy, romantic sentiments floating around this time of year.
Okay, here we go.
The Angoleiro’s guide to keep a woman in love with you forever: A comprehensive manual for enduring affection and lasting partnership.
Introduction: The Philosophy of the Angoleiro
The term “Angoleiro” refers to a dedicated practitioner of the Angolan style of Capoeira, known as Capoeira Angola. This title signifies more than just martial skill; it embodies a profound philosophy. The Angoleiro operates with a deep respect for patience, an unwavering commitment to tradition, a mastery of rhythm, and the cultivation of deep, internal connection.
In the delicate and complex context of a loving relationship, the Angoleiro’s approach is antithetical to superficial games, fleeting manipulation, or transient romance. Instead, it is a methodology built on sustained, deliberate effort, a harmonious rhythm, and a profound, intuitive understanding of the partner. These are the very, non-negotiable elements required to not just ignite, but to keep the flame of love burning “forever.” This comprehensive guide meticulously distills the Angoleiro philosophy into actionable, timeless principles for any man committed to forging an enduring and deeply fulfilling relationship.
I. Mastering the Rhythm: Consistency, Reliability, and Presence
In the practice of Capoeira Angola, the bateria (the orchestra of instruments) doesn’t just provide music; it provides the essential, governing rhythm. A lasting relationship, too, demands a consistent, reliable rhythm that can be felt and depended upon.
The Drumbeat of Presence: The Soul of the Relationship
Just as the powerful, resonant berimbau is recognized as the soul of the roda (the circle where Capoeira is played), your emotional and mental presence must be the soul of the relationship. This is not mere physical proximity; it is being fully, consciously present. This means establishing an absolute sanctuary from digital noise: putting away the phone, silencing distractions, engaging in active listening, and truly immersing yourself in shared moments. This consistent, focused presence builds the bedrock of trust and security, assuring her that she is the most important element in your immediate world.
The Daily Overture: Power in Small Gestures
The greatest loves are sustained not by grand, sporadic spectacles, but by a continuous stream of small, consistent gestures. These daily efforts significantly outweigh the impact of a single, massive act of romance. A daily “How was your day?” delivered with genuine, sincere interest, a thoughtful morning text that shows she was your first thought, or consistently sharing a meal together without rushing—these acts form the stable, comforting routine she can rely on. Love does not just survive; it thrives on this kind of daily, emotional reliability.
Adaptation and Flow (A Ginga): The Art of Dynamic Partnership
The ginga is the foundational, fluid, and adaptable back-and-forth movement in Capoeira. It teaches you to always be in motion, ready to react. Your love must possess this same dynamic fluidity. You must develop the perceptiveness to recognize and gracefully adapt to her constantly changing needs, moods, and life circumstances. The true Angoleiro knows when the moment calls for him to take the lead with decisive action and when it requires him to step back and be the gentle, non-judgmental confidante. This intelligent flow prevents stagnation and keeps the partnership vibrant.
II. The Respectful Game: Honor, Clarity, and Communication
Capoeira Angola is fundamentally a game of mutual respect, where the “opponent” is viewed as a vital partner in the dance. This principle of honor and respect is utterly paramount in a committed relationship.
The Call and Response (O Coro): Mastering Dialogue
Effective, profound communication functions as a continuous, organic call and response. You must speak your truth—your thoughts, feelings, and needs—with kindness, precision, and clarity. But more importantly, you must listen actively to her without the internal distraction of immediately formulating your rebuttal. The goal is connection, not victory. Validate her feelings and perspective, allowing her to feel heard and understood, even if your ultimate conclusion differs from hers. Validation is the cornerstone of emotional safety.
Honoring Her Space: Encouraging Autonomy
Respect for your partner extends to honoring her individuality, her deep-seated passions, and her essential need for personal space and restorative time spent with her own friends or family. A healthy, flourishing partnership is the union of two whole, complete individuals who consciously and joyfully choose to walk side-by-side, not two insecure halves clinging out of need. The Angoleiro encourages her growth, celebrates her independent successes, and trusts her freedom.
Fair Play in Conflict: Seeking Resolution, Not Domination
Arguments are an inevitable, and sometimes necessary, part of any deep relationship. However, they must be conducted under strict rules of respect. Focus relentlessly on the issue at hand, never the person. Under no circumstances should you ever weaponize past mistakes, insecurities, or vulnerabilities as ammunition. The Angoleiro seeks to resolve and understand, never to dominate or inflict lasting pain. After the conflict, always make a conscious, affectionate return to a place of mutual affection and demonstrated understanding.
III. The Art of Patience: Cultivating Deep Roots and Endurance
Capoeira Angola is not about reckless speed or explosive force; it is about strategic timing, deliberate depth, and controlled execution. Lasting love demands this exact same, profound patience.
The Long View: Building a Shared History
You must internalize the understanding that “forever” is not a sudden destination. It is built slowly, deliberately, on the vast accumulation of shared history, the resilience gained from overcoming challenges together, and the quiet joy of witnessing each other’s personal transformations over time. Resist the urge to rush significant milestones or to demand immediate, unrealistic perfection. The journey is the commitment.
The Beauty of the Slow Movement: Intentional Investment
Invest your time and attention into activities that truly deepen the bond: learning a complex new skill together, exploring shared intellectual interests, or simply enjoying the profound comfort of companionable, meaningful silence. These slow, deliberate, and deeply meaningful interactions are the enduring mortar that secures the relationship’s foundation against time and pressure.
Forgiveness as a Core Skill: Releasing the Grievance
Be swift to offer complete forgiveness and slow to entertain anger. Holding onto grudges introduces corrosive, unnecessary tension and inevitably poisons the atmosphere of mutual trust. Forgiveness is not a gift to her; it is a critical act of self-care for the relationship itself, clearing the path for growth and future connection.
IV. Maintaining the Mystery: Effort, Growth, and Self-Improvement
A dedicated Angoleiro never stops training; he continuously refines his technique, increases his strength, and deepens his knowledge. Similarly, you must never cease the effort to be the absolute best version of yourself, primarily for yourself, but also for her.
The Eternal Courting: Never Stop Earning Her
The greatest error is assuming the effort ends once the relationship status changes. Never stop courting her. The attention, creativity, and genuine effort you invested during the initial, passionate stages must be maintained and even amplified years later. Consistently plan surprise dates, write unexpected heartfelt notes, and consciously prioritize and nurture your intimate life. This continuous effort is the tangible proof that you do not, and will not, take her presence or her love for granted.
Personal Development (O Jogo Interno): The Inner Game
Focus actively on your own life and growth. Rigorously pursue your career goals, maintain your physical and mental health, and continuously nurture your own emotional and intellectual growth. A man who is confident, purposeful, striving, and genuinely happy in his own life is naturally more attractive, more intriguing, and infinitely better equipped to be a strong, stable, and supportive partner. Your personal growth is a continuous gift to the relationship.
Passion and Purpose: A Shared Destiny
Share your personal purpose and passion with her, allowing her to be part of your vision. Love achieves its greatest endurance when a couple shares a sense of destiny, a common mission, or a significant collective goal—whether it is raising a family with clear values, contributing meaningfully to the community, or simply building a remarkable life together. This shared purpose transcends the everyday and gives the relationship transcendent meaning
Conclusion: The Legacy of Enduring Love
Keeping a woman in love with you forever is not the result of a magic trick, a clever technique, or fleeting luck; it is a profound, demanding discipline. It is the conscious, daily, and unwavering choice to embody the principles of the Angoleiro: unyielding respect, emotional and physical consistency, profound patience, and the demonstration of relentless, daily effort.
By thoughtfully mastering the rhythm of your shared life, honoring her complete individuality and autonomy, and constantly striving for your own self-improvement, you will create a bond that is deep, fiercely resilient, and truly timeless. The immense reward for this discipline is a love that does not, in fact, fade or diminish over time, but instead deepens, matures, and grows more rich and resonant with every passing year, much like the powerful, magnetic sound of the berimbau calling the faithful to the roda.
The Angoleiro’s Essential Guide: Keeping a Man in Love with You Forever
For generations, the Angoleira have been revered not just for their striking beauty and formidable spirit, but for the profound, enduring relationships they cultivate. Their secret lies not in fleeting charms or superficial tactics, but in a deep-rooted understanding of human nature and the art of partnership. This guide distills their wisdom into actionable principles, ensuring the bond you share with your man is not just passionate, but permanent.
This is not merely a collection of tips, but a philosophy rooted in the profound principles of Capoeira Angola—a blend of art, strategy, and deep-seated respect. To keep a man’s love enduring and passionate, you must approach the relationship as you would the roda (the circle in which capoeira is played): with grace, intelligence, rhythm, and unwavering authenticity.
1. Master the Art of Presence and Independent Light
Do not dim your own light to fit into his. An Angoleira knows that the most potent attractant is a vibrant, fulfilled self.
Cultivate Your Own Garden: Maintain hobbies, friendships, and goals that exist entirely outside of the relationship. A man is drawn to a woman who is passionately engaged with her own life. This creates a compelling magnetic pull—he must pursue your attention, not simply receive it as a default.
The Power of Space: Understand that healthy interdependence requires moments of independence. Encourage him to pursue his interests and take your own space without generating drama or suspicion. Absence, when used judiciously, reinforces value. He should miss you, not just be accustomed to your proximity.
Be a Source, Not a Drain: Ensure that when he spends time with you, he feels energized, inspired, and respected. Do not allow the relationship to become a constant tally of grievances or emotional burdens. Your presence should be a refuge and a celebration.
2. The Unwavering Foundation of Respect
Respect is the bedrock upon which lasting love is built. Passion may ignite the flame, but respect keeps the fire burning steadily.
Honor His Efforts: Acknowledge and genuinely appreciate his contributions, no matter how small—from fixing a lightbulb to supporting your career aspirations. Men thrive on feeling competent and needed. When you show genuine appreciation, you reinforce his desire to do more for you.
Hold Him in High Regard: Never belittle him, especially in public or in front of his peers. Your unwavering belief in his capabilities is one of the greatest gifts you can give him. Be his most enthusiastic cheerleader and his fiercest defender.
Communicate with Dignity: During conflicts, focus on the issue, not his character. Avoid name-calling, generalizations (“You always,” “You never”), or bringing up past hurts. Address problems as a team facing a challenge, not as adversaries.
3. Fulfill the Core Need for Emotional Safety and Admiration
A man needs to feel safe in his vulnerability and truly seen by the woman he loves.
Be His Soft Place to Land: Create a sanctuary where he can drop his guard. The world is often demanding and critical; your relationship should be his haven. Listen without judgment, especially when he shares his fears or professional setbacks.
Admire the Man He Is, Not Just the Man You Want Him to Be: Love is accepting the whole person. Show genuine admiration for his strengths, his moral compass, his unique way of viewing the world. True, lasting love is built on a foundation of profound liking.
The Power of the Affirming Gaze: Look at him with love and admiration. The way you physically see him and respond to him—a lingering glance, a genuine smile, a touch that says “I value you”—communicates more than words ever could. Let him feel he is still the most desirable and competent man in your life.
4. Cultivate Shared Purpose and Growth
A relationship that stands still eventually suffocates. Angoleiro women are partners in life’s great adventure.
Establish a Shared Vision: Ensure you both agree on the long-term goals for your lives together—whether it’s financial freedom, raising a family, traveling, or community involvement. Working towards a common future binds you together more strongly than any romantic feeling.
Challenge and Support: Do not let him become complacent. Encourage him to take risks, learn new skills, and strive for greater achievements. Be the supportive anchor that allows him the courage to venture out. You should be the wind beneath his wings, not the weight pulling him down.
Never Stop Dating: Routines kill romance. Continuously inject novelty and excitement into the relationship. Plan dates, surprise him, introduce new shared experiences, and keep the spark of curiosity alive. The moment you stop putting in effort is the moment you invite stagnation.
By integrating these four Angoleiro principles—maintaining an independent, vibrant self, practicing unwavering respect, creating a safe emotional sanctuary, and pursuing shared growth—you build a love that is not only passionate but impervious to the trials of time. You secure his love not by trapping him, but by making your shared life the most fulfilling place he could ever imagine being.
I hope you guys enjoyed this little ‘how-to’ guide to love, viewed through the unique and insightful perspective of a capoeirista of Capoeira Angola.
Capoeira Angola is more than just a fight or a dance; it is a philosophy, a constant dialogue between two people, much like a loving relationship. The jogo (the game) in the roda (the circle) is a microcosm of the complexities of love. It requires patience, deep listening, respect for your partner’s rhythm, and the ability to anticipate and respond without dominating.
Just as a relationship thrives on mutual growth and understanding, the jogo of Capoeira Angola demands that both players are present, attentive, and fully engaged. The slower, more grounded movements of Angola teach us the beauty of taking our time, savoring the present moment, and finding strength not in aggression, but in subtlety, balance, and connection. May the lessons learned from the berimbau‘s steady beat—the grounding rhythm that guides the roda—help you find harmony, flexibility, and enduring connection in your own journey of love.
I came across this video, which is titled, THIS SONG SHOULD BE TRANSLATED TO ALL THE LANGUAGES IN THE WORLD. #WORLDPEACE, and I wholeheartedly agree with its central message about universal understanding and the power of music to connect people across cultures. The song is called Rien ne m’étonne (nothing surprised me), and it’s beautifully performed by the talented Ivorien Revolutionary singer Tiken Fah Koli. His lyrics resonate with themes of resilience and hope, touching on the struggles faced by communities while also inspiring listeners to embrace peace and unity. This song truly deserves to be shared worldwide, allowing its uplifting spirit to reach every corner of the globe and remind us of our shared humanity.
Here are the lyrics in English:
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
If you let me have Chechnya,
Me, I’ll let you have Armenia
If you let me have Afghanistan,
Me, I’ll let you have Pakistan
If you don’t leave Haiti,
Mе, I’ll send you to Bangui
If you help me bomb Iraq,
Mе, I’ll sort out Kurdistan for you
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
If you let me have Uranium,
Me, I’ll let you have Aluminum
If you let me have your mineral deposits,
Me, I’ll help you chase out the Taliban
If you give me a lot of wheat,
Me, I’ll go to war at your side
If you let me extract your gold,
Me, I’ll help you kick the General out
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
They divided Africa without consulting us
And they wonder why we are disunited
Part of the Mandinka Empire ended up with the Wolof
Part of the Mossi Empire ended up in Ghana
Part of the Soussou Empire ended up in the Mandinka Empire
Part of the Mandinka Empire ended up with the Mossis
They shared Africa without consulting us!
Without asking us!
Without informing us!
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
They’ve divided up the world
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Nothing surprises me anymore
Let’s bring Peace for all of humanity! This aspiration goes beyond mere words; it embodies the collective hope for a world where understanding, compassion, and goodwill prevail among all individuals, transcending borders and differences. By fostering open dialogue, embracing diversity, and nurturing empathy, we can create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.
Together, we can work towards a future where peace is not just a dream, but a reality that enriches the lives of generations to come. This vision requires collaboration and commitment from individuals, communities, and nations alike, fostering an environment where understanding and empathy prevail over conflict. By investing in education and open dialogue, we can cultivate a culture that embraces diversity and promotes harmony, allowing future generations to thrive in a world free from discord. As we unite our efforts, we pave the way for sustainable solutions that address the root causes of strife, ensuring that the dream of a peaceful coexistence becomes an integral part of our shared journey forward.
Welcome to MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER, a blog series that explores the strategies of human interactions, including communication, conflict resolution, negotiation, and manipulation. It discusses leadership, personal branding, and online reputation management, providing practical strategies for influence and relationship-building. Through analysis and examples, the series aims to help readers navigate interpersonal relationships successfully.
In this installment, we will explore the 34th law of power in the book, the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene. You can buy a copy by clicking HERE.
LAW 34: BE ROYAL IN YOUR OWN FASHION. ACT LIKE A KING TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE.
This philosophy encourages individuals to embrace their unique identities and strengths with confidence, reminding us that true royalty comes from within. By cultivating a mindset of self-worth and dignity, you not only elevate yourself but also inspire those around you to recognize their own innate value. In a world often filled with comparisons and societal pressures, it’s vital to celebrate our individual journeys and the distinct qualities that make us who we are.
When we honor ourselves authentically, we create a ripple effect, encouraging others to shed their insecurities and fully express their true selves as well. This shared journey of empowerment fosters a stronger, more connected community where everyone feels valued and appreciated for their contributions. As we uplift each other, we collectively build a space that honors diversity and individuality, illustrating that self-acceptance is a powerful catalyst for positive change in our lives and the lives of those we touch.
Surround yourself with positivity, make decisions that reflect your principles, and carry yourself with grace. Remember, the way you present yourself to the world will often dictate how the world responds to you, so wear your crown proudly and let your actions set the standard for how others should treat you. By embodying kindness and confidence, you not only uplift yourself but also inspire those around you to rise to the same level of respect and dignity.
Each interaction is an opportunity to reinforce your values; therefore, choose your words and actions carefully, ensuring they align with the legacy you wish to leave behind. In moments of challenge, stand firm in your beliefs, knowing that your authenticity shines through even in the face of adversity. Embrace the journey of self-improvement, as every step forward brings you closer to becoming the best version of yourself.
How to Navigate the 34th Law of Power with an Ethical Compass
The 34th Law of Power, often summarized as “Be Royal in Your Own Fashion: Act Like a King to Be Treated Like One,” is a principle rooted in presenting an image of self-assurance, confidence, and inherent value. This law suggests that by embodying the outward characteristics of royalty—dignity, generosity, and an unshakeable belief in one’s own worth—others will naturally respond by granting you respect, deference, and the resources associated with high status. It is a psychological tool for influencing perception and, consequently, reality.
However, the pursuit of power and influence must be tempered by a strong ethical framework. Applying the 34th Law ethically means leveraging its psychological mechanisms without resorting to deceit, exploitation, or arrogance. It transforms the law from a tool of manipulation into a principle of genuine, value-driven leadership.Ethical Pillars for Implementing the 34th Law
To ensure an ethical application, one must focus on the substance behind the royal facade:
1. Authentic Self-Possession, Not Arrogance:
The Ethical Approach: The “royal” demeanor should stem from deep, authentic self-respect and competence, not from a manufactured superiority complex. Ethically, this means putting in the work to earn the confidence you project. True self-possession is quiet, grounded, and secure, recognizing the value in oneself while respecting the value in others.
The Unethical Pitfall: Using a show of arrogance, entitlement, or contempt for others to mask insecurity or a lack of substance. This damages relationships and is ultimately unsustainable.
2. Generosity and Reciprocity (The Royal Patron):
The Ethical Approach: Historical royalty often maintained their status through calculated acts of generosity—patronage, providing protection, and bestowing honors. Ethically, this translates to being a leader who genuinely supports their team, shares credit, mentors subordinates, and contributes value far beyond what is strictly required. The power you accrue is used to lift others up.
The Unethical Pitfall: Being a “tyrant” who hoards resources, demands service without offering commensurate value, or acts purely out of self-interest. This may grant short-term obedience but breeds resentment and instability.
3. Maintaining Dignity Through Integrity:
The Ethical Approach: The royal image is preserved through consistency, transparency (where appropriate), and a commitment to one’s stated values. Ethical application of the 34th Law means avoiding petty disputes, refraining from gossip, and always honoring one’s word. A king’s word is his bond; an ethical leader’s word is their reputation.
The Unethical Pitfall: Engaging in duplicitous behavior, making false promises, or allowing your actions to be inconsistent with your projected image. This quickly erodes trust, and without trust, the projected image of “royalty” collapses into farce.
4. Focusing on Service and Purpose:
The Ethical Approach: The most ethical expression of the 34th Law is when the projected image of competence and authority serves a higher, positive purpose—leading a successful initiative, advocating for a just cause, or creating genuine value for a community or organization. The power is not an end in itself but a means to achieve constructive goals.
The Unethical Pitfall: Adopting the “royal” persona solely for personal gain, luxury, or to dominate others, leading to a focus on superficial status rather than meaningful contribution.
Practical Ethical Application Steps
Define Your True Value: Identify the unique skills, expertise, and positive influence you bring to a situation. This is the foundation of your legitimate claim to a “royal” status.
Project Confidence, Not Conceit: Use body language, clear communication, and decisive action to project competence. Ensure your confidence is always paired with humility—a willingness to listen, learn, and admit mistakes.
Invest in Your Appearance and Environment: Presenting a professional, thoughtful image is an ethical signal that you respect your role, your time, and the people you are engaging with. This is not about extravagance but about care and quality.
Practice Strategic Generosity: Be liberal with praise, mentorship, and opportunities for others. Make deposits into your relational capital by being a reliable source of support and fair treatment.
By focusing on these ethical underpinnings, the 34th Law of Power becomes a framework for powerful, yet principled, leadership, ensuring that the influence you gain is both lasting and morally sound.
The 34th law of power, through the eyes of an Angoleiro:
For those who walk the path of Capoeira Angola, the 34th Law of Power—Be Royal in Your Own Fashion: Act Like a King to Be Treated Like One—takes on a profound, almost spiritual significance. It is not about ostentatious wealth or inherited titles, but about the postura (posture), the inherent dignity, and the self-respect that define a true master, or Mestre.
In the roda (the circle where Capoeira is played), the Angoleiro learns to carry themselves with an internal regality, a quiet confidence that commands respect without demanding it. This “royalty” is earned through:
Mastery of the Jogo (Game): A Mestre’s authority is rooted in their deep, fluid knowledge of the movements, the songs (quadras and corridos), the rhythms of the berimbau, and the history of the art. Their every move—slow, deliberate, and efficient—is the expression of a cultivated mind and body. They don’t have to boast; their jogo speaks for them.
The Axé (Life Force/Energy): Royalty in Angola is synonymous with a strong axé. It’s the powerful, positive energy and presence they bring into the roda. When they enter, the energy shifts. They are the anchor, the one who sustains the fire and depth of the game. They hold the wisdom and the spirit of the lineage.
Self-Control and Patience: Acting like a king means never showing desperation, fear, or petty anger. A true Angoleiro maintains a calm, almost impenetrable demeanor. They are deliberate, observing the flow, waiting for the perfect moment to execute a dangerous rasteira (takedown) or a clever malandragem (trickery). Their patience is their power; they rule the space by not rushing the interaction.
Humildade(Humility) as a Crown: Paradoxically, the highest form of Capoeira “royalty” is not arrogance, but profound humility. A Mestre understands that the art is bigger than any single person. They serve the roda and the tradition. This genuine humility—the willingness to always be a student—is what makes their authority magnetic and legitimate, rather than tyrannical.
To be “royal in your own fashion” as an Angoleiro is to embody the legacy of the enslaved Africans who created this art as a form of cultural and physical resistance. It means carrying the weight of that history with dignity, showing that even without physical chains, one possesses an unbreakable spirit—the spirit of a sovereign within their own skin. Their postura is a statement: “I am worthy of respect because I respect the art, my ancestors, and myself.” They are treated like a king because they act like the living embodiment of the Rei da Capoeira (King of Capoeira).
Jogo Corpo Fechado 