Welcome to MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER, a compelling blog series that delves deeply into the intricate strategies of human interactions, encompassing a wide range of topics such as effective communication, conflict resolution, negotiation techniques, and the subtle art of manipulation. This series not only addresses essential themes like leadership, personal branding, and online reputation management but also offers insightful and practical strategies designed to enhance influence and build meaningful relationships in both personal and professional contexts. Through thorough analysis, engaging discussions, and real-life examples, the series aims to empower readers to navigate the complexities of interpersonal dynamics, equipping them with the tools and knowledge necessary to strengthen their personal and professional lives. As we journey through various scenarios and strategies, expect to uncover the nuances of social influence, the importance of emotional intelligence, and the impact of strategic thinking in fostering successful interactions, ultimately helping you to thrive in a world where power dynamics are at play.
In this installment, we will explore the 40th law of power in the book, the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene. You can buy a copy by clicking HERE.
Law 40: Despise the free lunch
In a world increasingly driven by convenience and immediate gratification, it’s easy to fall into the trap of accepting what’s offered for free. However, a closer examination reveals a crucial principle: What’s offered for free is often dangerous. This isn’t to say all free things are inherently bad, but rather that true value, independence, and respect are rarely found without personal investment.
Consider the act of paying your own way to avoid guilt and gratitude. When you receive something for free, particularly from another individual, a subtle (or not-so-subtle) debt is incurred. This can manifest as an obligation, a feeling of being beholden, or a desire to reciprocate that may not always be convenient or desirable. By taking responsibility for your own expenses and contributions, you maintain your autonomy and freedom from such entanglements. This fosters genuine relationships built on mutual respect rather than a perceived imbalance of favors.
Furthermore, there’s a profound connection between investment and quality. No cutting corners with excellence is a principle that extends beyond financial outlays. When you commit your resources – be it time, effort, or money – to a pursuit, you are inherently striving for the highest possible standard. Conversely, seeking shortcuts or free alternatives often leads to compromised results, diminished quality, and ultimately, dissatisfaction. Excellence demands commitment, and that commitment is often reflected in the willingness to invest appropriately.
This commitment to investment isn’t about hoarding resources; quite the opposite. It’s about understanding the power of circulation. Be lavish with your money, keep it circulating. This isn’t an endorsement of reckless spending, but rather a recognition that money, like energy, gains power when it flows. Investing in quality products and services, supporting local businesses, and contributing to worthy causes all contribute to a vibrant economy and create opportunities for others. True wealth isn’t measured by what you accumulate, but by the positive impact your resources have when put into motion.
Ultimately, this philosophy culminates in a profound understanding of Generosity as a sign and magnet for power. This isn’t about transactional giving, where you expect something in return. Rather, it’s about a deep-seated belief in abundance and the understanding that true generosity, extended freely and without expectation, broadcasts a powerful message. It signals confidence, security, and a capacity to give beyond oneself. Such an attitude naturally attracts opportunities, alliances, and resources, making generosity a powerful force in both personal and professional life.
Example: Gypsies and Gifts offers a historical and cultural illustration of this principle. Traditionally, many Romani (Gypsy) communities have been known for their reluctance to accept gifts or favors without offering something in return, even if it’s a small token or a performance. This cultural practice, whether conscious or unconscious, serves to preserve their independence and prevent them from becoming indebted or perceived as reliant on others. It underscores the wisdom of maintaining a balance in exchanges, ensuring that dignity and autonomy are preserved. This example, while specific to a particular culture, highlights a universal truth: true power and freedom are often intertwined with self-sufficiency and the judicious management of exchanges, both material and immaterial.
How to use the 40th Law of Power ethically:
The 40th Law of Power, often summarized as “Despise the Free Lunch,” suggests that what is offered for free is often a trick or comes with a hidden cost, and that one should always pay one’s way, as it is a mark of respect, independence, and intelligence. While the law in its raw form is a tool for self-protection and maintaining power, its ethical application requires a nuanced understanding of its underlying principles. Applying this law ethically means using its wisdom to foster healthy, transparent, and mutually beneficial relationships, rather than simply as a defense mechanism against perceived exploitation.
Ethical Interpretation and Application:
- Value Transparency over Suspicion: The ethical approach is to use the principle of “Despise the Free Lunch” as a prompt for inquiry and due diligence, not automatic rejection. Instead of assuming malice, inquire about the terms, costs, and expectations attached to any offer.
- Ethical Action: When presented with something “free,” ask clear, respectful questions about the value exchange: “What is the expected outcome for you/your company?” or “What responsibilities are attached to this offer?”
- Foster True Reciprocity, Not Debt: The law rightly warns against the psychological burden and manipulation inherent in one-sided transactions. Ethically, this translates to a commitment to genuine reciprocity. Instead of simply refusing a gift, seek a commensurate, non-monetary way to contribute or offer assistance in return, ensuring the balance of power remains equal.
- Ethical Action: If a mentor offers time or resources, actively look for ways to pay their generosity forward, either by offering your unique skills in a small capacity or by committing to mentor others in the future. The focus is on balancing the exchange in a way that preserves the dignity and independence of both parties.
- Invest in Relationships, Not Just Transactions: Applying the law ethically means recognizing that some “gifts” are sincere expressions of goodwill, friendship, or love. In these cases, to rigidly refuse them can be an insult. The ethical judgment lies in distinguishing a manipulative ploy from a genuine relationship-building gesture. The principle of paying your own way should be focused on professional or transactional settings where power dynamics are in play.
- Ethical Action: In personal relationships, accept a genuine gift graciously, reciprocating with authentic appreciation and commitment to the friendship. In professional settings, insist on clear contractual terms and fair compensation, ensuring your contribution is valued and paid for.
- Promote Self-Sufficiency and Dignity: The most ethical aspect of the 40th Law is its emphasis on self-reliance. Ethically, this means refusing to become dependent on charity or favors when one is capable of earning their own way. By paying the fair market value for services and goods, one supports a functioning, equitable economy and reinforces their own sense of capability.
- Ethical Action: Always strive to pay your fair share in collaborative projects or social settings. If someone does a favor for you, offer to pay for their expenses or return the favor with something of equal effort, thereby respecting both their time and your own self-sufficiency.
- Use the Insight for Altruism: Recognizing the subtle ways people can be manipulated by free offers allows you to protect others. An ethically powerful person can use their insight to warn others about predatory “free” schemes or ensure that when they themselves give, it is a clean, unconditional gift designed truly to help, not to indebt the recipient.
- Ethical Action: If you choose to offer a service pro-bono or a gift, make the terms of its freeness explicitly clear—stating that there are no strings attached—to prevent the recipient from feeling the psychological burden of debt that the law warns about.
The 40th law of power, often summarized as “Despise the Free Lunch,” carries a unique and profound resonance when viewed through the lived experience of an angoleiro. An angoleiro, a practitioner of Capoeira Angola, understands that true mastery and respect are never simply given; they are earned through persistent effort, sweat, and a deep commitment to the tradition’s rigorous philosophy.
For the angoleiro, the “free lunch” is a seductive illusion—a shortcut that inevitably leads to weakness, dependence, and the stagnation of one’s jogo (the game/fight). The law is interpreted not just as financial prudence, but as a core principle of self-reliance and the necessity of personal investment:
1. The Price of the Axé (Energy/Life Force):
In Capoeira Angola, the axé is the spiritual and physical energy that vitalizes the roda. An angoleiro knows this energy must be constantly generated and renewed. If you receive a favor, a lesson, or even a moment of glory without paying for it—whether through dedicated practice, respect for the Mestre, or service to the community—the axé is unstable. The 40th law teaches that everything of value has a cost, and an unpaid debt (even a non-monetary one) leaves one vulnerable to control. The greatest masters demand investment, not compliance.
2. The Illusion of the Shortcut:
The journey of Capoeira Angola is defined by patience, repetition, and the slow, deep internalization of the movements, music, and philosophy. A beginner might seek “quick tips” or “easy moves.” The angoleiro understands that free, readily available knowledge (the “free lunch” of the internet tutorial or the lazy lesson) lacks the weight and foundation of hard-earned understanding. True power in the roda comes from the muscle memory forged in countless hours of disciplined training, which cannot be outsourced or acquired for free.
3. The Danger of Dependence:
When something is given freely, the receiver becomes indebted to the giver, consciously or unconsciously. In the context of power, this is a fatal flaw. The angoleiro must be sovereign, self-contained, and independent in their skill. To rely on the free generosity of a patron or the free advice of a rival is to surrender a measure of one’s autonomy. The 40th law demands that the angoleiro earn their place, their nickname, and their belt, ensuring that their standing is rooted in their own merit, not the unstable favor of others.
Conclusion:For the Capoeirista, “Despise the Free Lunch” is an affirmation of the principle that genuine power is internal. The angoleiro pays for their knowledge with sweat, their respect with sincerity, and their skill with dedication, thereby ensuring that the jogo they play is truly their own.
Jogo Corpo Fechado 