Welcome to MALICIA AS A GAME OF POWER, a blog series that explores human interactions, covering topics like communication, conflict resolution, negotiation, and manipulation. It addresses leadership, personal branding, and online reputation management, offering practical strategies for enhancing influence and building relationships. Through analysis and real-life examples, the series aims to empower readers to navigate interpersonal dynamics and strengthen their personal and professional lives.
In this installment, we will explore the 36th law of power in the book, the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene. You can buy a copy by clicking HERE.
Law 36: Disdain Things You Cannot Have.
The Folly of Unattainable Desires: Cultivating Contentment in the Present
It is a pervasive human tendency to fixate on that which we cannot possess, becoming ensnared in a convoluted web of longing, frustration, and often, profound unhappiness. This relentless pursuit of the unattainable, whether it be material wealth beyond our means, an idealized relationship, or a life that exists only in the realm of fantasy, inevitably diverts our attention and energy from the tangible blessings that surround us. In our fervent yearning for what lies tantalizingly beyond our grasp, we inadvertently overlook the inherent beauty and abundant resources that are present in our immediate reality. By consciously choosing to release ourselves from the suffocating grip of these fleeting, often illusory wishes, we can strategically reallocate our mental and emotional resources. This redirection of energy allows us to cultivate a profound and authentic appreciation for the myriad blessings we already possess, transforming our perspective from one of lack to one of abundance.
This deliberate shift in focus is not merely an exercise in positive thinking; it is a fundamental reorientation of our internal compass. By consciously choosing to celebrate and value what is already ours, we effectively dismantle the insidious shackles of envy. Envy, a corrosive emotion, not only poisons our own well-being but also prevents us from genuinely connecting with others and finding joy in their successes. Furthermore, this deliberate embrace of gratitude paves an unobstructed path towards a more fulfilling and authentically contented existence. This contentedness, in turn, fosters a deeper and more nuanced appreciation for the intricate beauty that permeates every aspect of our surroundings, from the grand tapestry of nature to the subtle nuances of human connection.
Embracing the profound journey of self-discovery and continuous personal growth is paramount to unlocking our true potential. It is through the meticulous process of introspection—a diligent examination of our thoughts, motivations, and values—and through a genuine understanding of our inner landscape that we begin to uncover the vast reservoir of capabilities and strengths that reside within us. The wisdom lies not in the endless pursuit of external validation or fleeting possessions, but in the profound act of cherishing what we currently have. This involves a conscious recognition that each passing moment, regardless of its perceived significance, holds intrinsic value and offers invaluable lessons that can serve as guiding lights on our unique paths toward greater happiness. By intentionally anchoring our attention on gratitude, by truly immersing ourselves in the richness of our current experiences, and by acknowledging the unique blessings bestowed upon us, we cultivate an unwavering sense of inner peace. This profound tranquility empowers us to rise above the often-destructive habit of comparing ourselves to others, allowing us to wholeheartedly embrace and find profound joy in the distinct and individual journeys that define our lives.
Interpreting and Applying the 36th Law of Power Ethically
The 36th Law of Power, often summarized as “Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring them is the best revenge,” is a principle rooted in psychological warfare and strategic manipulation. On the surface, it advises ignoring slights, setbacks, and coveted objects out of reach, suggesting that your apparent indifference will neutralize the power they hold over you—and perhaps over your adversaries.
However, applying a law of power, which by its nature is amoral, requires careful ethical consideration in a modern context. To use this law ethically, one must shift the focus from mere psychological dominance to personal well-being, strategic focus, and constructive action.Ethical Interpretation and Application
1. Reframe “Disdain” as Strategic Detachment:
- Unethical Application: Using “disdain” as a mask for bitterness, resentment, or a false sense of superiority, intended only to belittle others or their achievements.
- Ethical Application: Interpreting “disdain” as strategic detachment. This means consciously choosing not to invest emotional energy into things that are genuinely unattainable, distracting, or irrelevant to your core goals.
- Focus: Instead of obsessing over a competitor’s success (what you “cannot have” in that moment), focus that energy on improving your own product or service. This is a productive form of ignoring the distraction.
- Emotional Resilience: When faced with a minor insult or unfair criticism, ethically applying this law means refusing to give the critic the satisfaction of an emotional reaction. This is self-preservation, not manipulation. You are conserving your mental resources for more important tasks.
2. Shift from “Revenge” to “Personal Progress”:
- Unethical Application: Ignoring a person or situation specifically to provoke them, make them feel insignificant, or wait for their downfall—making the ultimate goal revenge.
- Ethical Application: Changing the desired outcome from “the best revenge” to “the best personal progress.” The ethical reward for ignoring what you cannot have or what distracts you is the acceleration of your own success.
- Ignoring Failure: When a project fails, applying the law ethically means ignoring the temptation to wallow in self-pity or assign blame. Instead, you analyze the facts, discard the emotional baggage, and immediately pivot to the next opportunity. Your forward momentum is the definitive answer to the setback.
- Avoiding Envy: The law becomes an ethical tool against envy. By choosing to ignore the intoxicating allure of someone else’s lifestyle or material possessions, you liberate yourself from comparison, allowing you to appreciate and maximize your current resources and trajectory.
3. Recognize and Address Genuine Obstacles:
- Unethical Risk: A rigid application of the 36th Law can lead to intellectual dishonesty, causing you to ignore a crucial problem simply because it seems too large or difficult to solve (i.e., you “cannot have” the solution easily).
- Ethical Nuance: The law should be applied only to things that are truly beyond your influence or are non-essential distractions. It should not be used to dismiss legitimate, fixable shortcomings or threats.
- Discernment: Ethically, one must first critically assess if the “thing you cannot have” is a permanent impossibility or a temporary challenge. If it’s a challenge that can be overcome through hard work, collaboration, or learning, the ethical path is to confront it, not ignore it.
- Honesty: Ignoring a systemic problem in an organization simply because it is difficult to fix is negligence, not strategic power. Ethical leadership requires addressing core issues, not feigning indifference.
In summary, the ethical application of the 36th Law is a practice of mindful allocation of attention. It is a discipline where you use the concept of ignoring as a filter to protect your time, emotional health, and resources, ensuring they are directed toward productive, ethical, and self-actualizing pursuits, rather than being squandered on comparison, resentment, or futile desires.
The 36th Law of Power, often interpreted as “Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring Them Is The Best Revenge,” offers a profound psychological insight into human interaction and the nature of desire. When viewed through the lens of an angoleiro—a practitioner of Capoeira Angola—this Law takes on a uniquely physical, cultural, and philosophical dimension.
The angoleiro‘s path is one of patience, subtlety, and mastery over internal states. Unlike the flashier, more acrobatic Regional style, Capoeira Angola is grounded, slow, and deceptive. This grounding provides a perfect parallel to the 36th Law:
Mastery Over the Jogo (The Game):
In the roda (the circle where capoeira is played), an angoleiro often faces an opponent who is faster, stronger, or possesses a more visually impressive move set. The lesser player might desperately try to counter or imitate these spectacular movements. The master angoleiro, however, disdains the need to engage on the opponent’s terms. They ignore the superfluous aggression, the flashy kicks that don’t connect, and the need for grandstanding. Their “revenge” is not to strike back, but to continue their low, fluid, and unpredictable game, making the opponent’s magnificent but ineffectual movements seem irrelevant and exhausting. The power move is the absence of reaction, the calm retention of control.
The Philosophy of the Malandro (The Rogue/Trickster):
The malandro spirit is central to Capoeira Angola—a character who survives by cunning, wit, and psychological manipulation rather than brute force. If the malandro cannot have a position of overt dominance (the “thing you cannot have”), he does not pine for it. Instead, he subtly shifts the rules of the game to make that position undesirable. By ignoring the need for validation or the appearance of strength, the angoleiro devalues the very metrics the opponent is using to measure success, effectively neutralizing the opponent’s perceived superiority.
Application to Cultural Resilience:
Historically, Capoeira Angola itself was a “thing the oppressors could not have”—a secret, an art form, a resistance movement. Attempts to ban it, eradicate it, or force practitioners to conform were met not with direct, confrontational resistance, but with silent, persistent practice. By ignoring the prohibition, by treating the law of the colonial power as irrelevant to the law of the roda, the angoleiros achieved the best revenge: the survival and flourishing of their art. The Law, therefore, is a guide for cultural and personal resilience, teaching that the greatest power lies in making external threats meaningless by refusing to grant them significance.
Conclusion:For the angoleiro, the 36th Law is not just a psychological trick, but a physical discipline. It is the ability to maintain the slow, deliberate rhythm of the jogo despite the noise and speed of the external world. By mastering the art of non-reaction, by “disdaining” the need to possess or engage with what is fleeting or external, the angoleiro achieves true and lasting power: the unshakeable mastery over their own movement and mind.
Jogo Corpo Fechado 